The 'Bad stuff that happened and me trying to help' is a story set forth by a Real Life Superhero (or RLSH pronounced like "pftsht") about how mazingly awesome is it to be a real do-gooder. Revengerist enthusists called Realists use precisely this sort of shit to prove that the amazing thing s that happen from the comics are real, but obviously not because O WAIT there weren't any like aliens or space particles or explosions or some like in it.
- "So I had an interesting MAX ride yesterday. On the way to work on the blue line, a dude came on the MAX at PGE Park. I didn’t pay that much attention to him. He seemed unstable and was kind of upset that a lady recommended helping him get a seat in the handicap section. Then the lady asked for help. Me and this other guy tried to get in there to help, but the lady handled it.
The guy asked me to help him with his bag (his speech was really slurred). I did and he started saying he needed an ambulance. I started to freak out a little. The guy told me his name was Robert Lee Brown and gave me his cell phone. Mr. Brown kept insisting that he needed an ambulance. Someone on the MAX told me about the call box to the conductor. Meanwhile, Mr. Brown’s eyes were glazed over and his head was bobbing up and down. I told the driver what was happening and that she needed to call. The conductor stopped the train to come back to see us. Mr. Brown kept going on about having an education from Penn State. I humored him the best I could. BTW, he did smell like alcohol.
This time I was trying to think on what I can do to help. I started to ask Mr. Brown some questions.
Why do you need an ambulance? He said “I took two of my heart medication.
Do you remember how long ago? No answer
Do you have the medication on you? Mr. Brown told me his pills were in the bag.
I reached into his back and pulled out a whole zip lock freezer bag filled with empty medication bottles. Uh oh, not good. Not good at all. I asked him which one he took. Mr. Brown, with his slurred speech and messed up teeth, said “All of them.” Oh no, really not good. At this time the conductor came back to overview the situation and some other guy came to help. Mr. Brown started to talk about the VA hospital and he and Mr. Brown talked about Navy stuff. The guy suggested that Mr. Brown lay down. I said that we need to keep him awake until the paramedics come. I thought that you have to keep the guy awake as much as possible. The police came and looked over the situation. I gave one of the officers the zip lock bag of pills. And the guy and I kept Mr. Brown awake and up.
Finally the paramedics came and took one look at Mr. Brown.
“So Robert, what’s the excuse this time?”
“Pardon me?” I questioned.
“Robert does this all the time. This is not the first time. Robert, do you need to go to Detox?” I remember going though his phone and seeing a Detox number and not thinking too much about it. The paramedics informed me that Mr. Brown did not overdose or anything but this was an act. We got him off the MAX. I help him up and had to lift him by his stinky armpits (yuck). Some one mention that we should have gotten him off the MAX to begin with so that everyone else can go on their way. At first I was pissed because I thought that they were being callous about a human life. But looking back, I am kind of pissed that I fell for his act. A lady told me I did a good thing, but meh.
It is not to be confused with "The Battle of the Good Guys and Bad Guys That Happened", which itself may or may not have undergone the formality of actually happened, depending on if you ask a realist or a sane person.