Weather is just all that fucked up shit in the air that falls on your head outside. Not inside, but outside. When water falls on you from the sky, that is weather. These elements are controlled by various Gods and mutants. When it is muggy, that is the weather due to the temperature demon getting angry and the precipitation fairies putting too much dew into the air. Enough dew can kill!

Thunder is the sound God makes when he does anything. That is because God is big and loud and even the slightest squeak of his chair causes the cosmos to quake. Most of the time, God isn't doing anything.

Sometimes other things can fall from the sky besides water, acid, fire, and ice. Sometimes weird items like fish, frogs, turtles, locusts and metal fall to the Earth for some mysterious reason. These items only count if they are a natural phenomenon of some kind, and not if humans put it up there, such as a crashing aeroplane or blimp. That would not be weather then.

Weather changes all the time and even neighborhood by neighbordhood (called microclimates). On a larger scale and over longer periods of time, aggregated weather pattersn give us an idea of climate. Climate and weather are not the same thing. Nobody says that they will "climate the storm" or "whether the climate be chilly or whether the climate be hot, we'll climate the climate, whatever the climate, whether we like it or not." Science.

HOWEVER some teensy percentage of scientists who make their neutral observations atop big piles of oily money, say that weather and climate ARE the same, and how can the climate be changing when there are still snowballs? What they are failing to realize is that Weather Gods and Godesses are jealous and petty, and will send flood after hurricane after earthquake after tornado after volcanic eruption in order to get the attention of the mainstream press.

They kill far more people than any serial killer, and they almost always get away with it Scot-Free (except wildfires; those we extinguish from the planet). 

The Sun is almost always in charge of the weather, but our errant Earth rebels against it and causes most of the problems here for us on the ground. Serves us right, frankly. These are called Natural Disasters.

One time I saw a little kid get swept up in the strong winds and used their tiny little windbreaker flaps to fly away... and was never seen again.

When the Cosmic Beings get really angry, they start to create Badass hybrid weather patterns, like fire tornadoes or volcanic lightning.

Some people like inclement weather and even pay money to listen to it at night but most do not care or, at best, use it to make small talk with slight acquaintances. 

Other weather phenomenon have odd names such as rain, hail, rainbows, fire rainbows, cloudbows, haboobs, snow, and super volcanoesNative American wisdom tells us how to predict the weather using clouds. This is what scientists still use today. Animals, on the other hand, have a useless super power where they know something bad is going to happen to the weather but they do not know waht and so instead freak out and spasm until they die like the rest of us. This is what happened when the ancient prophecy of 2012 finally came true.

Pages in category "Weather"

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