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The 500 Pittsburgh Port Authority Bus03:37

The 500 Pittsburgh Port Authority Bus

Back in the 1970s, while working for a renegae department of Local University, a respected college professor sets off a crazy bomb (pushing an innocent student out of its epicenter) affecting all of This Great City's homeless population, just on the other side of a retaining wall in a shanty town. This is how he became the most powerful character in The Revengerists universe.

He became the resident crazy homeless Lord, learning their ways and crazily working his way up the Awesome ranks of local notoriety, eventually being elected King of the Hobos (a revolving position) and traveled to many hobo camps in many hobo lands.

As King, it is his responsibility to address and serve the homeless masses, send the flood of hobos into battle during the Vagrant Wars, send out singing envoys in search of their 'Chosen One' who will ultimately be made their permanent King (every previous King being a mere placeholder) and interpreting the sooths of their Lord Prophet, the Gambler, and their Lawkeeper Babblin' Gary from Utica.

They convene at their annual convention (the Hobomoot) to rabble-rouse, consort with whores, cook gumps, flaming knife juggling, shopping cart jousting, and 100% voluntary bumfights. They must also constantly be alert to quell the existential threat of the Hobosith, such as Rodney and Brambles.

Should the Chosen One be found, they would have to test for his bloodline using old found needles, and Crazy-Pants would have to impart his training in the Ancient martial art of Hobo-ken; which includes jumping from one mountain to other/falling off, mastering Mike Tyson's Punch-Out, pink jumpsuit training, killing a polar bear at the zoo in front of horrified children... All this will be followed by trial in front of the underground hobo cabal, and with cries of 'Awwsheeit' a battle to the death as the final test, the student must destroy the master, and then face the horrible consequences.

Crazy-Pants wears a series of more nonsensical, dirty, and colorful coats of varying length, and sometimes has a boot or pant-leg on his head for warmth. Ironically, his pants are the least crazy thing about him, as he will indignantly point out. He is often seen carrying odd lamps, toys, random articles of indeterminate origin, or seen sleeping under eight Persian rugs with a shopping cart on top.

He may offer to get you a chimpanzee for $56. Do not believe him.

For a time he was a Bounty Hunter, and when he had his dreadlocks he was known as the Predator.

His greatest foes include The South Side Santa, Da May'r Luke Ravenstahl, and the po'.

HAILS FROMEdit

  • Wummelsdorf, Pennsylvania
  • Utica, New York
  • Schenectady, New York
  • Hoboken, NJ
  • Roanaoke, VG
  • Ronkonkadonk, Long Island, NY
  • Poughkeepsie, NY
  • Gresham, OR
  • Truckee, CA
  • Ipsilante, MI
  • Wilmerding, PA
  • Dushore, PA
  • Egg Harbor, NJ
  • Hygeine, CO
  • Walla Walla, WA
  • Pippa Passes, KY
  • Mount Desert Island, ME
  • Nanavut, Satchskatchuan
  • Cummaquid, MA
  • Alpena, MI
  • Boring, Maryland
  • Crappo, MD
  • Magnet, NE
  • Askew, MS
  • Pahrump, Nevada
  • Jugtown, PA
  • Nacogdoches, TX
  • Box Elder, SD
  • Pukwana, SD
  • Rapid City, SD
  • Omaha, NE
  • Hell, MI
  • Upper Yampa, CO
  • Happyland, OK
  • Albuquerque, NM
  • Box City, UT
  • Humptulips, WA
  • Tornado, WV
  • Jackson Hole, WY
  • Bishops Itchington, UK
  • Duck End (Essex), UK
  • Great Snoring (Norfolk), UK
  • Gurney Slade on Avon, UK
  • Brackley, UK
  • Hopton Wafers Shropshire, UK
  • Bramberry, UK
  • Upper Haighford, UK
  • Milton Keanes, UK

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