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I don't care what anyone says, Hip Knox has the most Awesome powers in the whole, wide super-world:

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Um. We don't have to wait to see, MacFadden. He did just make a fool out of you. Some arch-enemy.




















While Hip Knox's powers may be awesome, and his methods in keeping with Revengering, that is not to say that anyone 'fighting crime' with a hairnet is Awesome. It's also not clear that Hip Knox is fighting crime, per se, as opposed to just making his social rival out to be a compete lunatic. Either way, the fact that he is willing to go to such lengths in abusing mind control makes him far more effective than mutants like, say, Charles Xavier (who, despite being the world's most powerful telepath, has some lame code against utilizing it in such ways).

Here are some other things you could do with Hip Knox's power, feel free to add your own:

  • Make annoying customers jump up and down screaming until they are escorted from the premises
  • Force your boss to shout out racial epithets at the company picnic
  • Finally get politicians and the 1% to admit to all their corruption and fraud
  • Win every argument
  • Get the mean girls from your school days to release sex tapes
  • Get the bullies from your school days to threaten the president's life
  • Command the bus driver to ignore all stops but yours
  • Never pay for anything
  • Really mess with the paranoid schizophrenics in your town, or turn average citizens into them
  • Find a line of riot police facing a protest demonstration, and make them Riverdance
  • Never get mugged
  • Interfere with the Super Bowl
  • Convince your girlfriend that you don't really need to see that sappy rom-com
  • Convince that asshole at work that there are spiders all over his body
  • Ace every job interview
  • Make other people run your errands for you
  • Have every embarassing memory, no matter how minor, expunged from all minds
  • Force two random people on the street to fight for your amusement
  • Learn every secret

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