Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent (AKA "The Nuge") is the current de facto expert on gun control, and the law in the United States. In the 1970's he was a rock musician, and a one hit wonder with "Cat Scratch Fever." In the early 1990's he teamed up with other classic rock has-beens from Styx and Night Ranger to form an arena rock under the moniker Damn Yankees, which is either a play on the 1950's musical of the same name, or an ironic nickname based on a derogatory term for northerners.

Ted Nugent has a massive weapon collection including but not limited to shotguns, rifles, machine guns, archery equiptment, knives, and other equiptment which is pretty awesome.

He is such an annoying creep, however, that an entire town in Texas(!) offically gave him $15,000 just to go away.

Conservative Values Edit

Ted Nugent has long been a supporter of the republican party, and used his celebrity status to parlay that into a side-career as a political political pundit. He has often commented on

  • Killing and cooking animals
  • Owning a lot of guns
  • Being disgusted with Liberal's violent rhetoric
  • Implying to hurt or kill people he disagree with


Ted Nugent enjoys hunting, his personal motto is "Kill 'em and Grill 'em" which completely ignores the butchering process, and generally results in fur, entrails, blood, and feces in your food.

He has also enterprises in staging animal hunts at his fenced 340-acre hunting ranch, Sunrize Acres, outside Jackson Mississippi. Here he sells his services as an expert hunter, and people can choose which animal will become their trophy. He personally guides customers on a hunt for trophy bull bison ($5,000), Russian boar, or white-tailed deer ($1,000 each). Critics claim it's like "Shooting fish in a barrel" - but "The Nuge" disagrees stating "No, it's like shooting cows on a farm, yeehaw! that's good christian fun!"

He enjoys displaying his trophies, in his zebra-print dining room he has heads and hides of bears, moose, oryx, caribou, whitetails, warthogs, and lions, to name a few.

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