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Turting is the act of placing a live turtle or tortoise in one's own anal cavity. It is otherwise known as "turtin" "turtling" "gettin turt up" or simply "turt."

Inception Edit

Turting was discovered almost by accident when Roscoe Dash and Souljur Boy Tellem's hit song "All the Way Turt Up" was on the top charts. Someone copied the lyrics word for word and got "turt up" on the turtle.

Uses Edit

According to users, Turting gives the person a sense of euphoria and closeness to god. "the feeling of a real turt insert.... nothing rlly compares"

Accolades Edit

[15:42] <Cukel> how to fit a live tortoise up my bum

[15:43] <DoctorT> all the way turt up

[15:46] <DoctorT> this is a game you'd like if you smoke weed or somethin

[15:47] <Cukel> shoving live turts up your ass hole?

[15:49] <DoctorT> all the way turt in all the way turt up

[15:50] <Cukel> just ALL the way up in ther until they meet SHREDDER

[15:53] <DoctorT> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W98VYNFFSCc

[17:42] <Cukel> the feeling of a real turt insert.... nothing rlly compares

[17:43] <Cukel> hardcore turting for 4 days now... beginning to feel it but its GOOD.... gonna get fired but i think its good i have more time for writing my novel. i think im going to start reducing my turt time tho for real. no more turting next week.

[17:44] <DoctorT> when you turt that turtle gets all up in your shit and you feel like good. That's why they call it turt up

[17:45] <Cukel> anyone have any tips for feeling that first turt-shock again? that tremor u get in your legs with te first turt... its never like that again. should i taper off my turting a bit for a month or so??

[17:46] <MoonSha> turntle down for what

[17:47] <Cukel> haha... every1 knows that dumb "just say no campaign" with that dumb pop song... but if ur not a dumb idiot and can control urself theres nothing wrong with turting once aweek, twice a week, or evry day if u feel like. it feels good dont be a square

[17:47] <DoctorT> i ned hlep. yesterday i wuz turtin and the turtle got stuck in my anal cavity, turt got scarred and woulnt cum out and i cant reach with players or crow bar. what i do?

[17:48] * MoonSha (~g@synIRC-9CE198A1.dyn.iinet.net.au) Quit (Connection reset by peer)

[17:48] <Cukel> re: NEED HELP TURT PROBLEM. u just cloes that spinchter real good and wait for the turt to deprive its oxygen. turts live from the 2-bta-cp fast serotonin chain so if u shut that off u should be golden in about 3 days. bro u gonna have a good time when that happens

[17:55] <DoctorT> Yo man, you dont take care of that turt you gonna hve problims. My first two dint turn well and i had to bury them in the yard. You gotta feed those turts on da regular and make sur to shin them. If they aint polish smooth then dey be all not turtin you up and dyin and all that shit

[17:57] <DoctorT> play sum fuckin hard ass beats and shit for that turt, tell it you love it, give it the regular doses of melodextrin and h30p toxin blocker

[17:57] <Cukel> dont turtshame

[17:58] <DoctorT> when i take a blud sample of my turt its HCLs and LCLs are all fucked nad shit

[17:58] <Cukel> dude dont turt up with melodextrin u gonna blow ur wad and NOT be able to feel the turts up again. not to mention u not gonna be able to work with that level of turt-shakes and those pigs dont get what we get... that turting is the cloesst to GOD..

[17:58] <Cukel> the TURT GOD

[18:00] <Cukel> Anyone Have Any Good Tales Of First Turting?? Lol I Was Partying Wth My 16 Yo Cousin And He Turted Up Just Like That No Preparation Or Nothing He Was Fucked Up For Four Months And Didnt Graduate High School Lol. His Ass Hole Look Like A Volcano Jutting Out Of His Ass Now.

[18:03] <Cukel> Doctors All Wanting Him To Replace Him Ashhole With One Of Those Things That Look Like A Cut Up Pepsi Can But He He Was Getting The Turtsicks So Bad He Left That Place And We Never Saw Him Again

[18:06] <@Waffnuffly> lmao

[18:06] <Cukel> sometimes i feel like this channel is basically fyad ten years ago

[18:06] <@Waffnuffly> it is

[18:06] <@Waffnuffly> I'm BIZARRO STORMY

[18:06] <@Waffnuffly> I'm regular stormy

[18:06] <Cukel> im regular stormy

[18:09] <DoctorT> I was a leads investigator for Angela Mai and Associates. We were up to our heads in paperwork and had just gotten through our second month of overtime for this god-forsaken case that needed wrapped up. Some obese mexican woman was trying to reopen a claim where she allegedly snapped her wrist giving her boss a coerced handjob at a dollar store shelf. The claimant's wanted to pass some bullshit allegation that the bones were all shattered and the lien had made fifty thousand fucking phone calls that day trying to collect money to give their client for travel expenses. One night I had just had it and grabbed a turt one of my colleagues kept in the fish tank and just turt up like fuckin crazy. Shit was unreal. Next day I told my boss to fuck himself and I have been turtin ever since. I figure I can use 10% of my severence to keep turtin. Don't remember last time I talked to my fam or nothin, once you turt you don't give a fuck bout nothin

[18:10] <Cukel> hahahahahahah

[18:10] <Cukel> oh my god

[18:15] <DoctorT> we were readin some wack ass shit about sudan at my book club and wen i told them we shuld switch to science or fantasy for the next run they got up all in my shit and soon as you know it they figure out i was turtin. now ya see dat they didn like turtin even wen i brought my turts and wanted to kick my ass out. next thing you know the library was burnt down and it was jus me and my turt walkin outta da smoke

[18:17] <Cukel> was talking to Smokeshine again talk night and man he is a tight ass mother fucker. we cruising all over town and just talking to all the girls and taking shots here and there and Smokeshine just knows whats up. we at this pool party that man turn so wicked i cant even comprehend lol. so imagine my suprirse when Smokeshine just pull out this live WACK ASS GIANT turt from his puckered shit hole right in the cab!!!

[18:18] <Cukel> me and Smokeshine tighter than ever he gave me some good tips. stay safe every1 kill all cops. dont let turt bliss be broken.

[18:20] <DoctorT> my mom tried gettin me to pray or somethin at the church. said i was godless and i sayz "ma, i dont need no prayin. all i need to be close to god is this fmotherfuckin turt right here" and put my turt in. dont remember much of what happen next but i woke up three days later. cops said my mom tried to kill me and herself by drivin in the ocean, but some weird ass dolphins or shit pulled me onto shore cuz of my turt, who was friends wit em

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